mannnn LIFE ups and downs all the time!

hey yall back on here just stopping by to say wassup! since the last time i was on here done got more serious with my main nigga and now we put a "title" on it ughhh but thats my baby regardless. that shit aint bout nuffin but yesterday i kinda let someone who wants to take me from him get into my head and believe my boyfriend is cheating on me so i almost lost him but we good! lol then sunday i got fired from my job at up against the wall i had for like 2 months! wtf for taking pics yes and posting em on fb and the real deal was becuz we was on the clock taking the pics! but i gotta interview friday with a shoe store called bandilino so im hoping i get that please! school is going up and down fail some test pass some but i love my chicks i go there with we really help each other it's fun because of them! i dyed my hair back black and the photoshoot pics are about to get posted now! ima come back and update yall some other time!

oh cant forget im finally going to be in my first fashion show in december so we are doing the practices now i cant wait! kind of scared but i gotta get on the good foot babyyyy

i need to come here more OFTEN!

life knocks u down but get back up when it does thats what we all do right!? and yea i kno i talk about life a bit much butttt all that fashion shit yea i like it but i aint just like all them chicks and niggas who just put pics of shoes and think thats all it is too life and too things period! not knocking im just saying but i mean if it make u happy do you! just where im from its a lot more on people's mind and we tryna get out of fucked up situations with a smile on our face! i woke up from a longgg ass nap been 19 years im woke now wassuppp world! lol but forreal its just a lot of shit that go on through my mind from partying to fashionnn lls to what im goin to do with my life to gossip to dudes i talk to...to what imma do with my future to if i wanna really become just a model? to what am i gonna eat today! thats my fav one i cant wait to eat! it goes right outta me tho...but i need a job thats what i really been doing tryna find a damn job that shit too hard forreal! ima get it together tho cuz im tiredd of watching these damn kids! loll talk to yall some otehr timeee here go some pics from myrtle beach we came back last monday it was fun as shittt

Im Backkkkkk

Damn! I feel like i havent came on here and expressed myself in a while! been a lot and i mean a LOT of shit going down since when was the last time i posted?? it say march! oh yea thats a long enough time to make a short come back! well i aint been clubbin too much well the last time i went to a radio club was love in like april here are some pics from that in this post. but i went to the cfe for the 4th of july wooo lawddd did some other shit that night too! wild 4th but i think everybody's was right? lol just got from under the dryer gotta go to these top model auditions tomorrow pray for me! PLEASEEEEE and i been going to school like shit its so hard well not hard but u just gotta do so much in so little time and remember it all! but thats a part of life in general nuffin too easy well not for me i know! but im going to sanford brown for medical assisting and still job hunting sinc ei dont babysit no more! ughhhh i need money the fast wayyyy.....u kno the rest! even if my so called "boyfriend" lol dont ever have one of those says he'll give me money nigga i dont want urs i want some shit ic an call my own benjaminnnn i need u right now! i miss sitting here expressing myself even though i do that enough talking to people on a daily basis but i just like to type it out as well. Im going to start doing poems again too and i gotta start my brother book he's in jail somewhere in kentucky i think but he wrote a book and made it all about the dmv! well its real good hope yall get into it i might put some shit from it on here too prolly! gotta go im tired as shittt

been gone for a minute...feels like

I'm a problemmm that will never everrr be solved...well im chillinnn..things been so crazy lately in my surroundings! like always mannn i always got some type of drama around me..it mostly be from a dude that im fuckin with at the time...or some shit similar to that..it dont be too much or nuffin but its always SOMETHING! drama be following me mannnnn but its 8pm on wednesdayy march is goin past too fast! top model just came onn im tired of watching this shit but i love it too..im just tired cuz i be mad at the chicks she be pickinggg they dont deliver enough to me! but what can i say im just an aspiring model tryna see what i can really get out of doing this here what im doing. but im planned on moving by october at least! i cant stay here and try to do this...but some people say i can try to get my face out there while im here. well im goin to try to do that and just keep on goin forward because im goin to model and if not im just gonna go back to school for television broadcasting to be a news anchor or to be a psychiatrist.

how yall been? hope it been okay out here for everybody..i know one thing i am so thankful for...is to have this babysitting job right now..because i cant find another job to save my damn life! i did some online apps like i do almost everyday not like i used to but in between time every chance i get. so i did one for family dollar a lil min ago and i just got a email saying that i aint get it! wtf how i aint get family dollar! thats like the bottom of the barrell...even lower than mcdonalds or at least right there! why wouldnt my qualifications be good enough for them!? thats too crazyyyy man! but i know everybody done felt this type of shit one way or anova or one day before. its hard out here forreal for everybody...at least once in ya life...and what doesnt kill me really makes me strong as iron soooooo with that being said ima watch these kids like my life is really depending on it...then ima see where ima be headed to next..cuz the runway and fashion world will feel my presence and thats what im not playing with!

i aint using a rubber when success is cumming!

oh nahhhh can u hear that!?
oh nah can u feel that!?
im moaning...it's groaning...we feeling each other's movements.
im up and it's down we move all arounddd.
im tryna see what this is..where it could go.?
how far and how slow?
can it go deep inside?...am i gonna be taken for a ride.?
is it my time to feel that shine?...the light so bright at the end of the tunnel..am i ever gonna be able to experience that?..what is it?...success...is it that nice to have? i know one thing...
when its cumming i aint running!...that's one orgasm i can't wait to have...and when its there im gonna bask in the ambiance of the way its supposed to be...for ME...my family....im gonna let them know im in love....for i have found finally..what lovemaking is....how i can truly be so intrigued in one thing finally....not wasting each other's time...giving each other the right amount of space that we need....the right amount of love at that!......success im ready when you are...

PUSH it to the LIMIT!

scarface scenes all crazyyyy in my damn head right now!
and listening to this old fake nigga rick ross. i just like the song yall damn!lol
suckas i see u clearrrr
but im in here eating anything that i can find in my refrigerator..thinking bout the future. like fuckin ALWAYS..sometimes i be really forgetting to just rest my mind!
u wouldnt think that if u was around me or knew me like people THINK they do! maybe cuz im always laughing or smiling and just goofing around my mova say a lil TOO much!
immature is what they call me not knowing im a mature soul inside just tryna find my lil way in this world. damn im only 19! ima get there but for now im taking that shit one at a time NO RUSH! not to get old...but a rush to SUCCESS and to start down the right path yes! soooo im pushingggg ittttt! gon keep pushinggg it if thats what it takes ahaa!

but i been enjoying shit that been goin down lately. i chill a lot and babysit these 2 twins..jadon and jordan..well i take them to school every morning! gotta get em dressed..tell em brush they teeth and wash they face..and thennn trot their 1 year old sister jeniyah with me to walk them to their school. they are really something else...funny as hell is what they are! then i come to my house with the 1 year old til about 1pm. now she is the one who i CHILL with! the love of my life right now besides the money her parents pay me to chill with her! lol butttt i get sad when she leaves and just love it when she's around! im really FALLING for her!lol ight im bouta go so i can go spend another night at their house with NO cable and movies on til i fall asleep goddamnnnn!

Stomach Ache But That Dont Stop ME!

I'm new to this but its ok im bouta learn about it and all I can think or try to do is CAREER MOVES! yes 19 really trying to be on my shit people! I wish I didn't bullshit so much after highschool but everything does happen for a reason so that's why what didn't kill me made me this strong.....as IRON! Have u ever asked god what is going on and why u? well i know that has popped up in everybody's mind a lot daily lls buttt it will get better trust! and if it dont it wasnt supposed to anyway!

i love meeting new people and talking! damnn i talk a lot so if u like reading u will enjoy this blog as much as i enjoy typing it..ahaaa.

anyway i like to write read and i want to become a model! yea i know what u saying what chick in this dc/md area dont!? but i wanna become one of the best and I'm dead ass serious that i will!

its very hard but what isnt? unless u born into that shit...and i wasnt born into shit forreal so i know how shit feels lls

but i also wanted to become a journalist and a news anchor! its gonna take a lot but im goin somewhere with my life whether they like it or not! its crazy if they dont show that respect where its needed! GONE for today luv yall!